ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING
February 18th, 2006
Hurling
February 17th, 2006BOXING BOOT CAMP, WEEK THREE: FRIDAY (MEANING: PAIN)
MEFISTO: Hurling is an ancient Gaelic sport; it one of the fastest and most skillful field games in the world.
Hurling is also American/Canadian slang for vomiting, which can result from being run into the ground for an hour and a half by two Gaelic tough-guy boxing coaches.
The later form of hurling was nearly on display today, by yours truly, Mefisto.
Today coaches Paul and Simon led the Boxing Boot Camp crew up and down nearly every puke-inducing hill in the Potrero Hill area of San Francisco (about 12 hills in all), pausing only to make us do 60-yard wind sprints, push-ups, jumping jacks, and crawl like animals through the sand of a local playground (6 times).
As I hung curled over a chainlink fence in said playground, trying to focus on flowers and other pleasant smells, I acutely rued my deviation from the boxing training table last night — three ill-advised beers and three cigarettes.
A lesson has been learned.
TUCO AND JAKE
February 17th, 2006
How to cook a mouthpiece
February 16th, 2006WEEK THREE - Wednesday evening
DR. FAUST: When the day comes that I will write a ‘Boxing for Dummies’ guide, I will devote the first chapter to providing proper cooking instructions for mouthpieces. For those of you who don’t know, mouthpieces need to be heated in soft boiling water for a ’short time’ so they get moldable and you can press and fit them to your upper teeth. Quite simple, but not simple enough for Dr. Faust who could not tell from the inspired but not very thorough translation of the Chinese description of this process as to how long exactly a ’short time’ lasts. I had to learn the hard way that a minute is certainly too long of a ’short time’ as I saw my mouthpiece turn into an unidentifiable ball of goo which could not even be used for Mefisto’s squirrel teeth anymore. So here’s the trick (according to coach Simon): 15 seconds into the boiling water, a short moment into cold water so that you don’t burn your mouth, and then bite on it as hard as you can. Then, with some luck you’ll get it off your teeth again and your mouthpiece is ready to take a pounding and protect your crest smile for years to come.
Mefisto’s First Punch in the Face
February 15th, 2006WEEK THREE — WEDNESDAY
MEFISTO: So today, after a day lost to a head cold — an absence I must make up for by jumping into the Bay, say the coaches — I put on my headgear, padded boxer’s codpiece, and 16 oz sparring gloves for the first time. As the class paired off, somehow Dr. Faust and I wound up together. First we practiced blocking and catching jabs — a completely unnatural (for me) move where you use your rearward guard hand (right hand) to block a jab (left hand) from your opponent. Your instinct, or at least mine, is to dodge completely or block with the left hand, which is closer to the opponent. The problem is that both these “instinctual” moves leave you open for a clobbering. Dr. Faust got me a few times in the head in this way.
After practice, I tried explaining what it’s like getting hit with headgear on:
“There’s none of the sting or bone-on-bone feeling of actually getting hit in the face with a fist. (I have an older brother; I know.) It’s more like a stunned feeling, jarring.”
To which Dr. Faust replied:
“Dude, those weren’t hard punches. You really should spar with someone else. Yesterday — when you were out — this short guy was pounding my brain.”
Leave it to Dr. Faust to manage to condescend while simultaneously highlighting the puniness of his punches.
TOUGH
February 15th, 2006
WEEK 3
TRAINING WITH PAUL
February 15th, 2006
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WEEK 3
FROM COACH: and I quote Paul…”forget about it being boxing or aggressive, it’s a motion, it’s a technique, it’s a move…”
TRAINING WITH SIMON
February 15th, 2006
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WEEK 3
DING! DING! DING!
February 15th, 2006
WEEK 3
MEFISTO: In this series of pics from training, I look (in the red, um, “trunks”) like a squirrel trying to eat an acorn with boxing gloves on, while Dr. Faust takes shots at my head.